None of this was meant to happen
All of this came in a dream

I was
Sitting in a dark blue Grand Cherokee
Driving up the coast
Staring down the exit signs until
They faded into the distance

The radio static came in
Reminding me of the world beyond
The hazard line and safety median

Apparently it’s the best time to
renew my health insurance

I shut it off,
savoring the dull pounding of the engine

I can’t seem to remember what I was
trying to say

The lines go through my head
sputtering and spurring
until something comes out

There isn’t a sense of coherency
until the clairvoyant eject button kicks in

I get freaked out by the
recurring thoughts of hurting myself

Trapped in the head of the person
running the show

I guess that’s why I live above the clouds
I guess that’s why I don’t remember where
my body wandered off to

Every time we meet I think
When will you leave

It breaks my heart to open myself so wide,
To see you having so much fun one moment,
And then staring blankly during the next

I see visions of
Past lovers disappearing,
Being told of appreciation and then being laid off,
Having closeness with friends who slowly disappear

It tears me down to feel such deep
Warmth and passion
Only to receive half-hearted compliments
In return