Every time we meet I think
When will you leave
It breaks my heart to open myself so wide,
To see you having so much fun one moment,
And then staring blankly during the next
I see visions of
Past lovers disappearing,
Being told of appreciation and then being laid off,
Having closeness with friends who slowly disappear
It tears me down to feel such deep
Warmth and passion
Only to receive half-hearted compliments
In return
In my mind’s eye I can picture it so clearly now
A desolate, aging soul,
Passed off with a polite gesture,
With the thought of
Kind, but not
Lovable
It feels worse to be seen in this way
Than to not be seen at all
It feels gut-wrenching to feel such a
Deep, personal connection,
One I’ve never felt in my life,
And watch as it juxtaposes with
Sudden changes of mood,
The emergence of tiredness and questions of
Whether we really feel like it should be
Exclusive
I can’t seem to help myeslf,
As a car riding without suspension,
Going fast but feeling the sharp turns,
Feeling the car lose control
I can’t seem to find the words
To show how I know,
The depth of understanding,
The need to grow,
The joy and beauty of such pains
For once in my life,
I wish I could feel understood for what it is
For once in my life,
I wish I could move on